I stepped out of Kamath café holding her hands, having her fingers interlaced with mine and proceeded towards auto stand across the street. They say gesture as innocuous as hand holding manifests several personality traits of couples. Your partner is protective for you, or your presence brings solace to him or he is just the dominant one in the relationship, such questions can be answered by a body language expert if you chose to find out.
By no means can I claim to be an expert of couple’s psychology nor do I bear such intentions, at best I can reflect on my own emotions and talk about it. I hold her hands as I like being closer to her, to have her around me all the time. She too seems to like me holding her hands as she gently snuggles closer, every time our arms slide on each other’s and fingers entangle as if they have no other purpose than getting intertwined.
I enquired with the auto driver for driving me down to Manjunath Petrol pump and he agreed without any haggling. Her lips quivered and a shiver ran down her slender frame. She squirmed as I released her fingers gently, gradually pulling my hands back and got myself seated in the auto. Bending forward I tried to look into her eyes one more time, one last time but she withdrew, turning her gaze away and my heart skipped a beat. Revving up the engine driver pulled out from the stands and she turned back and stared at me with her teary eyes, a brave smile adorning her face. Her eyes welled up with tears deceiving the brave face she had put on since morning.
While she attempted to conceal her emotional propensity, I was too timid to face her lest I give in. I remained firmly seated, gazing at the endless road ahead and not seeing anything. The building vacuum inside me threatened to swallow me up and I felt scared in her absence. In almost a decade, I was undertaking a journey all by myself, and was feeling deterred by her conspicuous absence. This journey, back to place that was ‘our’ home seemed too long to pursue without her.